10 Ways I’ve Cared for my Well-Being During Maternity Leave

As a yoga teacher and well-being practitioner, I’ve been curious about what it actually looks like to practice what I’ve learned during the biggest change of my life: becoming a mom.

I’m currently 6 months into maternity leave and I have some reflections to share.

I’m sharing this list not as a list of things every new parent “should” do, but because these are some of the things that have helped me care for myself during this transition. Maybe it can be helpful for other new parents too.

1. I took recovery seriously

One thing my pregancy yoga teacher said to me really stayed with me:

We spend nine months growing a baby. Why do we expect our bodies to immediately feel like themselves again or “bounce back” afterwards?

Pregnancy is intense, birth is a huge physical event, and the body has a lot of healing to do.

So in those early weeks, I tried to give myself as much rest as possible, to support the natural healing process.

I cocooned at home and spent most of my time in bed the first few weeks. My body really needed it.

2. I prioritized support

A friend gave me this advice while I was pregnant:

Since your partner gets two weeks off when the baby is born, consider taking two weeks of vacation too, if you can.

We did, and honestly, it was invaluable to have Dimitris home for four weeks.

The first two weeks I felt completely beaten-up, both physically and emotionally. 😅

I needed help and care so I could focus on the baby, breastfeeding, recovering, and just figuring out what was happening.

And then, once I started feeling a little more human around week three, having those extra weeks also meant we could enjoy being together and slowly figure out things like taking the stroller on the bus, going to a café and getting out of the house with a baby.

I know this isn’t financially possible for everyone, and I don’t take it for granted. For us, it made a huge difference and I’m so glad we were able to do it.

3. I educated myself about postpartum mental health

Before the baby arrived, I learned about the hormonal shifts that happen after birth, baby blues, postpartum anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I also shared what I learned with Dimitris. And I’m really glad I did.

Because when I suddenly found myself crying over everything and having anxious thoughts about whether my baby was breathing, we had some context for what was happening.

I could recognize that these feelings can happen during this huge transition, rather than immediately thinking something was terribly wrong with me. Dimitris also knew what to look out for and how to support me.

For me, those feelings gradually eased. If they hadn’t, I would have reached out for more support.

Knowing something can be common doesn’t mean you have to just live with it. If something feels overwhelming, persistent or concerning, please reach out for professional support.

📖 A book I found helpful: “Kaos og kjærlighet” by Gro Vatne Brean & Amalie Vatne Brean

4. I lowered my expectations

This one has been a work in progress.

Around week five after birth, when Dimitris went back to work, I had lined up a whole bunch of activities for me and our little one.

But baby had other plans 😅

He didn’t want to be in the stroller. He cried. I hadn’t figured out the carrier yet. And suddenly my beatifully planned days felt like chaos.

So I had to lower the bar.

I took a big step back and spent more time at home. Whenever possible, I keept the timing for appointments more flexible so I could follow baby’s rythm.

And when I eventually started going to things like mom-and-baby yoga, I learned to let go of the idea that I had to actually participate in the whole class.

Sometimes 10 minutes of yoga was enough. Actually, 10 minutes of yoga was great.

5. I’ve practiced self-compassion, especially on hard days

Being a beginner parent is humbling.

You don’t know your baby yet. Your baby doesn’t know you yet. You’re both figuring out how to be together in the world.

One of the little affirmations I’ve come back to is:

“We’re figuring this out together.”

Some days that means going with the flow. Some days it means changing the plan. And some days it means admitting that today is just hard.

And I’ve really had to remind myself that I don’t have to feel good all the time. There have definitely been days that have felt overwhelming. Sleep deprivation is real!

Sometimes I’ve been frustrated, exhausted or just not particularly happy.

I’ve also learned that “kos deg!” can be complicated advice when you’re exhausted and just trying to get through the day. 😂

So I’m trying not to make well-being another thing I have to be “good at.”

Sometimes self-compassion is simply letting a hard day be a hard day, without making it mean I’m doing something wrong.

6. I gave myself permission to tune out from the world for a little while

While we were bringing our baby home from the hospital, the taxi driver had the radio on, and it was just bad news after bad news.

I asked him to turn it off.

And then I basically didn’t turn the news back on for about eight weeks.

I was so sensitive and emotionally raw, and I realized I just didn’t need to take all of that in while I was adjusting to this completely new life.

So I let myself stay in the baby bubble for a while. And I didn’t feel guilty about being uninformed for that time period. I needed that little bubble to be as peaceful as possible.

After some time, I was ready to turn the news back on again.

7. I’ve made maternity leave fun

After a period for rest, recovery, and getting to know my baby better, I started to enjoy being more active again.

I really like getting out of the house and having things to look forward to.

Baby swimming. Baby singing. Mom-and-baby yoga yoga. Meeting other babies and their parents. Getting a pastry and a matcha. Seeing friends. Or just bringing a picnic blanket to the park.

These things have given me energy and input from the outside world, and that’s been important.

8. I’ve learned to understand and accept the push-pull

Learning about matrescence has helped me understand some of the push and pull that can come with becoming a mom.

It’s such a huge transition. Your identity, priorities, relationships and needs are all changing, and it can feel like you’re being pulled in different directions.

I’ve definitely felt this myself.

I love being close to my baby and I love this little life we’re creating together.

And I also need some time to myself.

Sometimes that’s a 30-minute walk by myself. Sometimes it’s talking to someone about something completely unrelated to babies.

And when I do get that time, I miss him and look forward to seeing him again.

Learning that these things can coexist has been really helpful.

I can love being a mom and still need space to be myself.

And I think I’ve really needed permission to feel that.

9. I made a plan, then let myself change it

Before he was born, I spent some time thinking about what I wanted those first weeks to look like and what I thought I would need.

I wanted lots of time to recover and bond as a family, so I talked to my family and friends about keeping visits fairly limited.

And for the first two weeks, I really did want that.

But then I started craving people.

I wanted my family and friends around. I wanted to share this new little person with people I love.

So I changed my mind.

We still found that one visit a day was enough, but otherwise I let myself adjust the plan based on what I actually needed.

Talking to friends, hearing other people’s experiences, and learning about matrescence helped me realize that I didn’t have to know exactly what I would need beforehand.

I could think about it, make a plan, communicate it, and then change it when I learned something new about myself. Being intentional doesn’t mean being rigid.

10. I’ve let myself lean into the good stuff

There have been some truly indescribably good moments during these months.

Falling in love with this little person. Watching him discover things. Seeing his personality develop. Getting to know him more and more.

Honestly, before becoming a mom I thought babies would be a little more boring. 😂

But watching my tiny human develop in real time is fascinating and joyful.

So I’ve tried to really let myself enjoy it and just really be there for the good stuff. And there is so much good stuff!

Some Neuance

This has all been a work in progress.

There have been moments where I’ve felt really good, moments where I’ve felt completely overwhelmed, and plenty of moments where I’ve had to remind myself that I’m a beginner at this.

I’m sharing these things not as a list of things every new parent “should” do, but because these are some of the things that have helped me care for myself during a huge transition.

And I know we all have very different circumstances. Some people have lots of support, some have very little. Some babies sleep, some really, really don’t. Sometimes you can be doing everything you can to take care of yourself and still not feel good.

That’s part of what I’m learning too.

Well-being isn’t about feeling good all the time. For me, it’s becoming more about paying attention, being compassionate with myself, and figuring out what works for me now.

What do you think? I’d love to hear about it. My email inbox and Instagram DMs are open, as always. And if you know someone who is on maternity leave, feel free to share this their way.

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