Joy Isn't Trivial: Why We Should Take Our Joy Seriously
A few weeks ago I went out for lunch with friends and ordered a cookie for dessert. The server smiled and said, “It’ll be about ten minutes because the cookies are still in the oven.”
Ten minutes later, out came a chunky chocolate-chip cookie: crisp edges, soft middle, a touch of salt against the sweetness. It was perfect.
After a summer of extreme pregnancy nausea and months of only being able to stomach plain toast and crackers, biting into that warm cookie was pure joy. Small, simple, but still meaningful.
You might wonder why I’m writing about a cookie when the world feels so heavy. I feel that heaviness too. And it’s exactly why I want to reflect on joy.
Our culture often treats joy as something frivolous, a nice extra for when the serious stuff is done. But joy isn’t trivial. Neither are the other positive emotions that travel with it: love, gratitude, inspiration, calm, contentment, interest, even awe.
Research in positive psychology, especially Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory, shows why these emotions matter. It suggests that positive emotions like joy don't just feel good — they also expand our perspective and help us grow.
Positive emotions widen our attention, help us notice possibilities, and build inner and outer resources: resilience, creativity, stronger relationships. They equip us to meet challenges and contribute to a better world.
Joy doesn’t mean ignoring pain or bypassing challenges. Positive emotions are how we resource ourselves so we can stay engaged, present, and kind.
They remind us that even in uncertain times, there’s still goodness to be felt and shared. They reconnect us to what makes life worth living. And that’s not naive or self-indulgent; it’s necessary.
Joy can take many forms. Sometimes it’s as small as enjoying a cookie, a song you love, or a few minutes of sunshine on your face. Other times it’s bigger — laughing with friends, feeling proud of something you’ve worked hard for, or being with someone who makes you feel safe.
Joy doesn’t have to be grand or perfect to count. The small moments matter just as much as the big ones because they remind us that joy is still available, even when life feels heavy.
When we nurture joy and other positive emotions, we strengthen the very qualities that help us care for each other and keep going through challenges.
So here’s my invitation for you:
Reflect on what activities will bring you a spark of positive emotion this fall? Maybe something that helps you feel calm, connected, or inspired?
Can you find a place for them in your calendar, just like you would for anything that matters?
What do you think? I’d love to hear what you discover! Hit reply or DM me on Instagram to share your thoughts with me if you’d like.
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